You Must Try This

Try this in Google. Type in your name followed by the word “needs” and see what you get. Hilarious. Here are mine.

Melanie needs

...to become more tolerant, especially of emotions.
...to become somewhat flexible and leave some of the pig headedness behind.
...a DIVORCE.
...a man's body. A dead man's body.
...to be part of a novelty act to get attention.

Bwa ha ha! Try it yourself and let me know the best ones.